Super Metroid But I Hate You

Super Metroid But I Hate You
Release date: May 02, 2025	Author: mysty_wysty	Download: v1.11 (536 downloads) (999 downloads of previous versions)
Genre: Spoof [?] Game:	Difficulty: Veteran [?]	Average runtime: 6:00 Average collection: 84%
Read Me: [None]	Forum Thread: Forum Thread	Rating:

Description

This is a halfhack I made specifically for one friend which originally was not going to be released publicly, but I changed my mind.
It's a troll hack full of inside jokes for that aforementioned friend as well as jokes that poke fun at Super Metroid hacking as a whole, featuring many references to obscure and highly-specific things, intentionally poorly designed rooms, baffling design choices, and an utterly psychotic amount of custom assembly to create an utterly unhinged and bizarre playthrough of Super Metroid.

Notes:
-This hack requires you to be able to same wall walljump, infinite bomb jump, and mockball.
-To break out of knockback, mash the L and R buttons. Successfully doing so will play a sound and give you extra invulnerability frames.
-This romhack has swearing and lewd jokes, so enable the appropriate rating options on Twitch if you wish to stream it.
-If you have trouble with the second of the two puzzles in Maridia, see PuzzleHelp_Spoilers.zip file (included inside the main download zip). If you do, that's a certified Skill Issue though.
-I hate you.

To see changelogs (and to see the joke description v1.00 had), check out the forum post.

Screenshots

Ratings and Reviews

By oligarche on May 03, 2025 (

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69% in 6:09

This is the best hack that has ever been made ever. I am hideo Kojima and I scaned Samus feet to use it as a sprite. This is best hak yes

By Richikupo on May 03, 2025 (

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101% in 9:48

Hi there

I am the first person to ever play this hack since Mysty made this specifically for me and my stream which is why like 70% of the jokes of this hack seem very oddly specific about me and my community and why happens haha. Anyways this hack is a really fun time, can be difficult at some points cause of the gimmicks - but honestly it's really funny and I highly recommend you 100% this hack!

It's made to troll my play style and behaviors in my super metroid streams and how I play in general. Surely if I can 100% this hack, you can too :3 Just sit back and enjoy the surprises! This hack is FULL of them.

By Kirarin on May 04, 2025 (

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100% in 7:47

This is the most fun hack I've played so far. It is also the one I laughed the most.

You might hate the guy, but I love what you've created. Please make more hacks.

Also I won't spoil anything. 5/5. Go play this. I loved Kaleidoscope, but this might be the hack of the year for me.

P.S. Alcatraz is optional as far as I saw

P.S.2. Know how Subversion tried to be funny putting other SNES games BGM to appeal? This game actually delivers. Custom fights and new final boss. Play this blind.

By Law on May 05, 2025 (

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55% in 2:22

Hello!

I playtested this, and I'm unashamedly biased towards this romhack.

It's a romhack for SM veterans, so you'd best bring your skills. You'll bee in for a wild ride from the moment you hit start. That's all I can say without spoiling the experience - Go play it!

I can't wait to see you bring more of your ideas to life Mysty. Congratulations again for the release!

By Digital_Mantra on May 05, 2025 (

)

96% in 6:59

This is the funniest hack I've ever played, and a lot of fun too.

By Zincoshine on May 05, 2025 (

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No completion stats.

Normally I don't check out half hacks but the hack's position at the top of the website forced my hand and... uh. This is best described as an unofficial sequel to GR2 Halfhack 2. This is to say, the hack is practically unplayable unless you are a speedrunning expert. Even with my new mechanical keyboard and basic sequence breaking moves I struggled to advance. I'll give this an extra orb for its originality but that's about it. I can't recommend this for any metroidvania fans. The gameplay here just seems to be designed to be as unfun as possible.

By junkrares on May 07, 2025 (

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97% in 6:02

EDIT: I did finally finish it, spite is a powerful motivator. I still hate it. My rating is still one orb.

This hack just serves to make fun of the community, and I truly believe all the high ratings on this are a further troll. Nobody could actually find this fun. I bashed my way through until Phantoon, and then just gave up. The music is grating and awful, I almost gave up during Green Brin, but just muted my TV instead. There is nothing to enjoy here, just being frustrated over and over. The only way to beat this hack is pure spite -- but fun is not part of the equation.

Like we get it, it is right there in the title, you hate us. But now we hate you too.

By dewhi100 on May 07, 2025 (

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69% in 4:02

====EXPLANTATIONS OF HAKING SYSTEM====

All hacks in the topp 100% have rating from 1 to 5 orbs.
Hacks begin life cycle at 2.5 orbs, or 3 if published in April.
Requires walljump: -.5 orb
Requires mockball: +1 orb
Top 40% of hacks: 4 orbs
I ate lunch before the review: +1 orb
Any other review rates it as 2 orbs: +2 orbs
Typos: -2 orb
Funny typos: -1 orb
Dating sim: I crash Metconst

======================================

By cheesyboatride on May 09, 2025 (

)

81% in 5:45

I had so much fun with this hack! Lots of laughs were had, super impressive custom asm work to be found, and lots of challenge - both in execution and exploration. Definitely some parts of this hack had me extremely tilted, but usually it was because I was doing something wrong, or that was the intention of the troll (this is a troll hack after all). This hack reminds me of the SMW "YUMP" series (in a good way).

!!!!Spoilers below!!!!

The only cons:
- I crashed the game in 3 different places, though I think the creator is addressing those issues already
- The damage knockback and water movement in some areas gets taxing after a while, as well as the "exploding" Though I know this is a core tenet of the hack - to annoy. I thought it would be neat to eventually find an item that restores vanilla knock back and spike behavior, but I never found such an item (would be a cool prize in the varia room imo)

There are a few areas that I never found my way into (mist could pass), and never figured out the infinite hall (though was able to confirm that xray clipping out of bounds was not the answer haha). I don't know if I have any more ideas on how to crack those.

Highlights:
- Sudoku was a really fun addition
- I loved all the SMW easter eggs (the block snake was a bit heavy handed though! haha)
- The bosses were top notch
- The humor throughout was very well executed
- The "art of trolling" was very well executed throughout - not just spikes and other cheesy obstacles
- The aesthetics of LN were amazing
- The music choices throughout were very well done (especially maridia)

All in all great job! Can't wait to play the next one!

By WillowPunch on May 10, 2025 (

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79% in 4:31

Occasionally this hack calls me "waste of ROM space", "loser" or "piece of shit". It's unnerving, because my actual name is Willow.

Is this the Mandildo effect?

K, copypasta pasted, now actual review.
It's a shitpost and a very welcome one, the first hour and some moments later gave me lots of laughs. Has this Piss Towel and RIBBIT mods vibes and since I love those absurdities I liked this one too. Gameplay is sometimes frustrating indeed and I would've had a much longer completion time if not for rewind button being ready at all times to save me from all the troll game design. I'll say that without rewinds I would've been much more frustrated and maybe rated this a 3. But we also have to get more gullibles to play this so a 4 it is :cacotroll:

By jakoliath on May 10, 2025 (

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No completion stats.

most laughs and fun I've ever had playing a hack. anything but boring.

By Frydi on May 10, 2025 (

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81% in 6:57

This hack made me laugh A LOT and the creator really put a ton of work into this (first) hack.
I don't really want to spoil any content, but a good way to describe this hack is that it isn't bound by the usual SM romhack creation tropes(tm) (gray door galore, rolling into random walls etc.) and has a lot of creative new ideas, tons of custom stuff and great music (which all current SM hacks desperately need more of).

Would rate 4.5 orbs cause I REALLY hate that dumb knock-back feature, but it shouldn't diminish the work put into this hack.

By MarioFan2468 on May 16, 2025 (

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No completion stats.

dont try to beat ridley's zebetite before getting all beams
it regenerates 2 hp per frame, which will make the battle very long, if not impossible
but yeah anyway i lust for asm this good

By suku on May 20, 2025 (

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No completion stats.

this might be the worst hacks i've EVER played

not only was i deadnamed in the credits, the whole hack was a mess the entire way through

the game starts out like its some sort of mario kaizo ripoff, and it only gets worse from there

how do you even manage to spend so much time and energy making some rooms completely different, only to have other rooms completely unchanged? like, hello?

i dont know how many times i almost broke my keyboard every time i hit a spike or got sent flying across the entire screen by the horrible knockback, only to hit something ELSE

did this hack need to have spikes EVERYWHERE?????

that absolutely awful racket that plays the moment you enter brinstar, i almost uninstalled the game right there!

why did i need to go through this AWFUL maze in brinstar three different times?

and that post kraid room, holy shit, dont even get me started on that one

i must have missed the mist upgrade? because there was an entire area i couldnt get into, yeah whatever

i had to redo the ice gauntlet more than once, the timing on that feels way to tight, i had less than a second left

i cant even imagine how awful the game would be to play if you for some reason didnt grab xray as soon as possible

what the hell were all the koopas even FOR???????????????

haha, lets put in this lost woods part, yeah, because that wasnt the WORST thing about redesign

phantoon was AIDS, until i realized i could cheese the entire fight with psuedo, HAHAHA GET WREAKED

also, i think you forgot to finish a room to the right of the wreaked ship???

the physics in maridia almost made me throw up, they were so nauseating

everything about draygons 'puzzles' made me want to kill myself, except the sudokus those where EASY

i had to cheat my editing samus' jumping y speed in my debugger ($90:9EC5, thanks PJ your bank logs are SO useful!) to get past a part where the game expected me to bomb jump 100 times in a row

there was a room in lower norfair, after the STUPID VORE PART, where i thought i had springball checked the tunnel entirely, but i guess i missed the ONE tile i needed to go up at, and ran around trying to figure out how to get to ridley far longer than i should have

and that room before the super secret boss in blue brinstar? i must have missed hitting the mockball just right, because i came back at the very end of the game before going to tourian thinking i needed xray to see a hidden wall only not to need it at all, and absolutely STOMPING what should have been an early game boss, yeah whatever...

and did we really need another hack with redesign physics? holy shit

>playing metroid
>megaman boss
>zelda music

this is why fangames are shit

By H A M on May 20, 2025 (

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No completion stats.

Just stepping outside my gunship and I hear one of my songs ported by me! (https://github.com/H-A-M-G-E-R/varia_custom_sprites/tree/add-my-new-songs/music/MMC_Server Athletic (Yoshi's Island).nspc)
Shame that the Japanese text isn't edited that's why I gave it 4 orbs... I hope a future update would edit the Japanese text...

By Xaggoth on May 20, 2025 (

)

72% in 4:20

I crawled out of sm hack retirement to play this. This is amazing, and everyone who can read this post should play it.

By jamablues on May 24, 2025 (

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88% in 6:00

Absolute thrill and giggles!

By Zhs2 on Jun 04, 2025 (

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97% in 7:00

There's a lot I can say about this hack. None of it is any good. Let's start with the basics: this is Subversion if Subversion was merely a halfhack. No, that's a terrible start, it doesn't even begin to imply how many savestates you need to make to beat it without tearing all of your hair out, but it encapsulates my main problem: the entire hack is made of "our scientists were so excited to do what they could that they didn't stop to think about whether or not they should". You may argue that that's the point, that the entire gimmick is doing terrible things for the sake of spite, but my response is: No. Stop. That's not a justification, that's an excuse. There are hundreds of ways to say "I hate you" purely with level design - and most hacks here generally rated three orbs or less already have, in their own special way. This should have gone full balls out and called itself "Super Metroid but Fuck You" (why not? the f-bomb already went off inside this abomination several times!) but it didn't even do that right. All it managed to add to a perfectly normal Super Metroid experience was to be annoying all the way through, unless you had enough gear to ignore some of that annoyance, and while sometimes it stuck to the subtle approach in the level design to trip you up or screw with your muscle memory most times it just opted to go the ASM route and rip annoying traits from other games to dump them into play any time it felt like doing so. Very little of it is original, and by and far the only praise I actually have to offer to this hack is that Phantoon is the most creative fight in the entire thing (second to an optional extra boss I will not spoil except to mention it is related to the original Super Metroid level editor). Even that is ruined if you are foolish enough to show up without the necessary gear to do the fight, but for the rest of the hack, any opportunities to spice up existing fights are pushed aside or squandered, typically opting for making the fight ten times more likely to damage you (and in some rare circumstances make the fight so underwhelming once you figure it out that it makes no sense!), and any fights the author added to the hack custom-like are either stupid or forced or both. The author also has a bizarrely large hateboner for Redesign which we all already think is dumb in some form or fashion and don't actually need to be reminded of by another guy down the line with a "hey look at the assembly I can put into Super Metroid!" ego. Isn't that funny, how spite works as a two-way street? And finally, the final final boss is a spit in your eyeball if you care to make it that far. Do not recommend under any circumstances to people with perfectly sane ideas of what Super Metroid should play like or people without bunches of friends to watch the kind of streamer bait you can put up with and a sense of self-loathing. The readme already accurately states it's for veteran players, after all.

tl;dr:
- ABSOLUTELY bring your savestates for anything that looks annoying.
- Anything involving a message box is cringe. Simple as.
- Phantoon? Good. Best (singular) fight of the whole hack and probably why people seem crazy enough to think it's worth 5 orbs.
- Level design? Stupid and vindictive, occasionally the good and subtle kind of I hate you when it doesn't employ Tundain's teleport spikes all over the damn place like a nuclear spill. Bearable with enough upgrades and equipment, and it's a halfhack so you basically know where everything collectible is already. Basically. I hope you know how to single IBJ.
- Boss fights? Ranging from excessive to terrible, holding a firm "uninspired" in the middle. The formermost are basically just e-tank checks.
- Lost Caverns? Completely unintuitive. Where are the hints? Oh, there's no hints, the hack author hates you. The only time you get a map is when you have to do the entire thing in reverse.
- Physics changes? Only in the places that guarantee you to most hate your life.
- Music? Mostly ripped from SNES Mario and Zelda. They are tracks I already like and generally gave me the idea I should be playing the games they came from instead of this one.
- I don't believe in "it does what it set out to do". I believe in "does it actually make the game fun?"

By jm102887 on Jun 21, 2025 (

)

96% in 6:22

Okay, so I get why the opinion on this is split. The game is hard, sometimes a bit frustratingly so, especially with those dang "explode spikes" that respawn you either back a small ways or all the way at the start. There's a number of troll-y things throughout the game to screw with your expectations and leave you scrambling for an idea as to what to do or how to progress.

Yet somehow, I actually really did like this hack. I'm by no means an expert, I've been playing Super Metroid since I was a kid (I'm 37 now for the record), so I'm not a novice but I'm not great at a number of the tricks people use. This hack was actually a fairly good chance for me to test my capabilities and I quite enjoyed it for that alone. It played with my expectations, left me having to think outside the box a bit, and some occasionally silly choice here and there kinda impressed me for how fun I thought it was since they often took me by surprise.

Honestly, know what you're getting into when you decide to give this a try. It's troll-y, it's hard, a number of things aren't obvious, and sometimes it IS a fight to get anywhere with the insane knockback and different mechanics on things here and there. But if you are willing to remain patient with it, there IS a good game here that will test your ability to think on the fly and both your ability to recall Super Metroid we all know and love....but also your ability to neglect muscle memory and not go the obvious routes. But I do rate it 4/5 due to it being fairly polarizing and having some nail bitingly frustrating things. It's fun, but know you'll be at it for a while probably. And you'll likely need a few savestates.

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